i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
