people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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