trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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