I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
