I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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