I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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