physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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