just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize