Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
