When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
