I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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