WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
