So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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