what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
