Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
