I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
