Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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