I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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