Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
