i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
