I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
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