you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
