Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
