I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
