omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
