i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
