dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
