3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
