Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
