addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
