well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
