So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
