hell yes lets make some ravioli
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
