im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
