No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
