Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
