Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
