i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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