And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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