Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
