Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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