I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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