East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
