this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
