She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
