Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
