Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
