idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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