U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
