YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
