K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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