So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
