i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
