I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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