I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
this just has baby written all over it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
